I've noticed there are quite a few very posh furniture stores that cater to the very wealthy that live in my neighbourhood. Not like IKEA or Sears, where us regular folks shop.
For the most part, the sales people are friendly and helpful but there are a few judgemental dickwads that give me "that look". You know the look? Like I'm not good enough to be in their store or can't possibly be rich enough to purchase this shit. Those are the ones I like to have a little fun with.
I take my time looking at all the $20,000 sofas and $12,000 coffee tables. I think: what the fuck is this shit made of? Gold????? I think the salesman can read my mind and has somehow scanned my bank account and knows damn well I haven't got the money for this stuff. But then I think: for all he/she knows, I could be the daughter of Howard Hughes and like my father, I have no fashion sense!
They tactfully avoid eye contact but eventually they have to look up and that's when I smile and say:
- How can you be sure the leather in that sofa is Italian?
- Is it Sicilian or just regular Italian?
- Are you sure?
- Why don't the french make leather?
- Would they call it French leather or Parisian leather do you think?
- What's the difference between an Italian cowhide and an Alberta grain fed cowhide?
Be serious when you ask this shit and make sure you're dressed to the 9's otherwise they will kick you out of the store. They can't really scan your bank card to determine your liquidity and they don't really know you're not the daughter of Howard Hughes. Ha! Cheap entertainment.
2 comments:
LMFAO... they are sooooo fucking lucky I was not in the store, what they probally would not even let me in.....
I know, we wouldn't be allowed in together for sure, they'd probably toss us out pretty fast!
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